Class Reflection

Well, this Winter was my first semester at BYU. I was a little scared because I was supposed to take a basic writing class but when they saw my writing SAT scores they said I was good enough for this class, so I registered for it. It was a completely new way of living, just doing everything in english, but I got used to it after a couple weeks. I liked the professor, Mr. Holland seemed really fair for grading our homework and he is always willing to give us an extra day or two for turning in our papers. Class was fun, maybe funnier than I expected with the games and stuff.

Academically, I needed a class like this because I needed to get used to writing in english. Maybe I don't use the most technical words ever, but I have noticed my papers get better as I write more and more of them. I wrote at least 40 pages when I mix the blog posts and the papers, which really helped me develop my writing skills in english. I learned a lot about rhetorics and how to make your ideas sound really convincing, as well as some more grammar, punctuation and I learned how to criticize what other people writes, which really homes in handy everyday when talking to people. Now I can probably express myself more clearly when speaking in english and I think I can make stronger arguments not only writing but while speaking too. Overall, I enjoyed this class very much, and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be because of the new language and because I'm the kind of guy who would rather do math than write a paper. It was good to have this class,

Gustavo

My Proposal Reflection!

Our incredibly awesome proposal's topic is online safety for kids and families. We chose it because we think it is a very relevant issue in today's society because of the increasing popularity of the Internet, giving it a good Kairos. We used many colors in our design to give the proposal a happy look and to promote happiness between families and how many bad situations can be avoided by just following our proposal's suggestions. We walked through each one of the staces, starting by the definition of the problem and ending with our suggestions. The phrases we put all over the proposal stand out to make a call for action. The best part of it is we can all do something about it and not wait for someone to actually care and start investing money or something! It is a proposal that everyone can apply on their lives and it will not only help their families but their friends' families. Many proposals focus on one person or institution that can take it or not, but we were more realistic and made it so everyone can apply it on their lives if they really care about their health.

We appeal to ethos, pathos and logos with strong arguments and the cohesion and flow of the sentences makes it really easy for anyone to read. There's no complex wording and it doesn't become too long or too boring to read. We also found some really good pictures to describe what the problem looks like sometimes, and these make an impact on the reader that calls for action and supports our proposal. The design is really entertaining, standing out to the reader because of all the colours and pictures. And the best part is, we got cool pictures of mixed words to make it look professional, like this one!

 

 Certainly, nothing can be better than our proposal. We deserve an A!

Issues Paper Reflection

My paper, titled “Online Safety”, makes a clear argument about the crisis that the security online has been suffering during the last decade. The introduction is well supported with plenty of background and information to put the reader in context, while following the staces. This argument is important to a wide variety of readers because of its kairos, as it is a topic that most readers will find interesting because of Internet’s popularity. This makes the paper stronger and more interesting. The thesis is well presented, clear and easy to understand and it introduces what is going to be touched throughout the paper. The thesis creates interest in the reader, as everyone is interested in what measures to take in order to protect themselves from the online dangers.

The biggest counter argument is that of the government’s actions, which is well taken care of, as it is proved with supporting research that the government has done more than enough and the power to change this remains in the very same population of Internet users. Logos, Pathos and Ethos are all found throughout the paper when citing sources, giving examples of children and teenagers who have died due to Internet Safety issues and logic statements. The organization is really good, dividing the issue into its two main topics and every paragraph and sentence is in the right place to create a good flow as one reads the paper. There is definitely a voice that suggests that this paper was written by a person, and not any person, but one who is part of the public and is concerned about security. MLA format is obeyed and the grammar and punctuation is really good. Suggestions made by the author are not repetitions of argument other authors have done about this issue, making this paper unique because the suggestions are actually applicable by any reader of this paper. The conclusion touches the main topics, definitions and suggestions, finishing off with an interesting and touching phrase to leave the reader anxious to follow the suggestions and help.

Analysis of "Cyber-Predators"

The article Cyber Predator is based on the dangers kids face everyday when surfing the internet. It makes a study of "cyber-predators" attempting to have sexual meetings with innocent minors. The author, Bryan Hensen, successfully convinces the audience that this is a very important issue that should be taken care of. He uses many tools such as examples, statistics and citations to build ethos, logos and even some pathos.

Examples are used throughout the whole article. Stories of young internet users being sexually harassed  help the author establish some background that supports this issue and appeals to pathos by getting to the reader's feelings successfully. These kinds of examples are found very often, from the beginning until the end of the article. They also help specify the ways these predators work.

Statistics are used a few times. At first, a graphic of incident reports helps the reader to understand how big this problem is. The number of minors using the internet is also a way to convince the public of the magnitude of this issue. Then statistics about the average age of the victims (which is 13) also gets to the feelings of people because of the low age of these youngsters. Finally, statistics showing the measures people take against online pornography are presented. All of these help establish logos and credibility. They make clear the importance and magnitude of this issue, making a call for action.

Citations by experts are wisely used to build ethos, as this helps the author gain credibility and makes the argument more convincing. Experts of the area in the US are cited, explaining some of the ways this issue is being taken care of, but also giving reasons to understand why it is so hard to control this problem. Without these quotes, the article would lose a lot of credibility.

We can conclude this article is effectively addressing a real issue, with a big range of possible victims that has to be taken care of. The suggestions at the end of the text are useful, and the tools successfully appeal to logic, credibility and feelings to create a supporting response by the readers.

Summary of "Cyber-Predators"

The article “Cyber-Predators”, by Brian Hansen, centers its attention on online safety. More specifically, it talks about sexual child harassment on the Internet.

The author starts off by defining the problem and then he gives examples and cites some experts about it. After that he talks about the government measures against this and continues to explain how the dangers of online surfing have multiplied over the last 10 years. One example of measures taken by the government is the undercover agents who go online and get in chat rooms pretending to be kids to catch the “online predators”. He gives some statistics on number of children in the US using internet (by the date the article was posted) and also shows some statistics about kids who have been at least attempted to contact by these “predators”.

Examples and names of predators captured by the law are used very often throughout the text to show examples of how they work and are caught. Experts on the topic’s opinions are also cited, like US Custom Services spokesmen.

The article states how predators always cover by saying they’ve been entrapped, which is when they say undercover policemen made them do things they wouldn’t do otherwise, and it explains other ways they try to avoid the law.

The author continues to talk about predator attacks and people taking care of this and trying to entrap them, concluding with some suggestions to parents and kids who can be target of such attacks to end his article.

Comment on "Online Privacy"

The article "Online Privacy" is primarily based on the ways that modern-day websites and advertisers track our online activities to improve their advertising and knowledge of our information to better sell products. After reviewing the antecedents and many examples and opinions about it, the article focuses on the present measures being taken to aid this problem in the Congress.

The thesis successfully convinces the online users to believe their privacy is at risk and should be taken care of through the law. Throughout the article there are plenty of examples, statistics and credible sources and antecedents that explain how this privacy can affect us, the internet users. Opinions of privacy experts are found constantly, giving the article a lot of credibility. Ethos, Pathos and Logos are appeals found in the article, making it a very strong argument.

Statistics show opinions of internet users and how comfortable they feel about their privacy when websites adopt privacy policies or not, proving that older people cares the most about their online privacy. This appeals to logic. Examples appeal to credibility when citing experts from companies such as American Civil Liberties Union.

The article also takes care of counter arguments when citing social networking advocates and their pros of social networks. The author explains how while it is true that social networkers are aware that their information is being posted, they're not aware that this information is being used by advertisers and other websites under the table, which supports the thesis.

Suggestions are also useful in this article, like the tips to make your Facebook account safer, which comes in handy for the reader but also puts him on the same page as the author, identifying him with the issue.

Overall, this article gets to the point, states the issues and gives good suggestions to help to prevent this issue. I think the author did a really good job by doing all the research and writing this article. The author  seems very reliable and it looks like he did a good research. Tools are well used, and the thesis is well supported throughout the article.

10 Topos

1) Young Users of Online Social Networks usually don't understand the range of danger that giving personal information on these sites represents.


2) Some users of Online Social Networks develop addiction to these sites, wasting valuable time and even changing their personalities.


3) Antecedent and consequence: Kidnappings and sexual harassment have happened in these sites as a consequence of the amount of personal easy-to-access information found in them.




4) Division of whole into parts: Online social networks affect users in several ways: Addiction, Privacy issues, Safety and Cyberbullying.


5) Precedents: Online Social Network Facebook had to change privacy settings and make them stronger due to privacy charges put by users and companies.


6) Precedents: In suburban Dardenne Prairie, Mo., near St. Louis, 13-year-old Megan Meier hangs herself after receiving cruel messages on the social-networking site MySpace.


7) Authority: Experts say cyberbullying has become a scourge of the adolescent world, inflicting painful scars on youngsters and vexing adults unable to stop the abuse. 


8) Statistics: About 9 percent of respondents ages 10 through 17 said they were victims of threats or other offensive behavior, not counting sexual solicitation, that was sent online to them or about them for others to see, according to a 2005 University of New Hampshire survey.


9) Antecedents and Consequence: Bachelorette party pictures on Facebook cost Spanish teacher Ginger D'Amico a 30-day suspension. This is a clear example of privacy loss.


10) Comparison by difference/Statistics: Older online social network users are least likely to take steps to limit information availability than young users according to previous research.

RA Paper

My rhetorical analysis, "'Is Facebook Overrated?': Hamilton's generalizations about social networks" starts off by making a very concise and easy-to-read summary of the original article to get the audience on the same page. The title is very self-explanatory, giving idea of what is going to be analyzed and how. After the title and summary, the introduction of this paper ends up with a strong and straightforward thesis, stating all the tools and appeals the author of the original article relied on and the effectiveness of the argument to be analyzed. This gives field for the body paragraphs to start describing every tool specifically and updates the readers on what's coming next. The introduction captures the reader's attention quickly, and it doesn't give out many details to make him (the reader) become interested and read the whole paper. 

Each body paragraph starts identifying the topic or tool that will be analyzed, relating them to their type of appeal and how these are ineffective and why. The analysis does not look biased, however, because the author is given a chance and I analyze her intentions and why she believes her tools are effective to support her argument, and if they are, in fact. Fallacies are recognized and explained, and each strategy used is analyzed objectively and several quotes and paraphrases are presented in the body paragraphs to support the analysis.

The audience is analyzed too, giving the reader an idea of how the article is going to affect or not its audience. The language used throughout the analysis is fluent, easy to understand and there is certainly a voice present, giving the paper personality. The paragraphs are coherent, the sentences are related to each other and have a good flow when reading them, and grammar and punctuation are used correctly. MLA format rules are respected. 

The conclusion summarizes the analysis in a concise, fluent way, closing the paper very strongly. It doesn't get too long and it focuses the important points of the paper, mentioning the strategies and their appeals and wether they are effective or not and suggesting possible actions that could make a better opinion article. It makes a good conclusion because it is very straightforward and summarizes exactly what the introduction and body paragraphs say in a paragraph without neglecting any important pieces of the paper.

Audience Profile

The fact and main argument of the article talks about how the estimated price of Facebook is higher than it should be, but the author makes it look like it is directed towards a general public, which is not the best way to address the audience to such topic, considering that the ones who determine the prices of these companies are the big entrepreneurs who invest their money on them such as Microsoft (who actually owns part of Facebook), Apple, eBay, etc.

The author uses informal language to identify with her audience, which is in this case the users of these social networks and users of the Internet in general, as they might be interested in Facebook and will most likely be interested in reading this article. 

It would be much better if the author re-wrote the article again in a much more serious and formal way and addressed his audience to be entrepreneurs and companies at the level of Facebook, since public can’t do much about it.

Maybe the reason why this author addressed her audience towards the general public is that the public itself is what gives these social networks power. She might believe that users who read her article will be convinced that sites such as facebook will die sooner or later and this might help her argument somehow, as Facebook would lose users. At least that’s what I can infer of it, but other than that, the audience is not really well addressed. 

Mini Rhetorical Analysis of my article

"Is Facebook Overrated?" Is an ineffective argument that fails to convince the not well-addressed public to believe Facebok is overrated. It relies on metaphors, similes, devil terms and it appeals to logic, credibility and feelings in lower level.

The author makes an attempt at simile by comparing Facebook and nightclubs and how they are popular for periods of times, which totally fails to accomplish its purpose. It talks about how past social networking websites were what everyone would talk about but then they became boring. The author’s conclusion is that because of this event, Facebook will be another of these websites that will be forgotten with time. This is a sweeping generalization, as it is comparing Friendster to Facebook, two totally different social networks. After all, why would Mark Zuckenberg (Facebook CEO) follow the steps of another social network that didn’t succeed? If anything, he will learn from their mistakes and avoid ending up the same way. The situation is true for Friendster but not necessarily true for Facebook,

The author also uses the metaphor when comparing Facebook to gyms—a place where the author assumes people goes to flirt and gossip. He tries to make clear that Facebook is trying to morph from a gym-like site to a place where people do all kinds of activities. This is a failed attempt to support his arguments because it intends to tell the readers that so far, Facebook is not as effective as it should be and therefore is not worth the market values it had at the moment, but the author doesn’t connect this fact with her thesis, making it look rather boring and more of a useless paragraph.

Devil-terms are used not in one word, but in a whole sentence. There’s a paragraph that talks about how facebook has the “creepy prospect of turning your life into one big direct-mail campaign”. This gets to the reader as something bad as soon as it is read, appealing to Pathos, but again, it doesn’t seem like it is supporting the thesis. It seems like it is suggesting readers not to fall into facebook addiction more than convincing them of its overrated cost.

It can be said that the author himself looks a little confused about her argument, as the title of the article itself points to a question that seems to be left unanswered as you read through the article. It leaves the argument open to be interpreted by the reader more than establishing a straightforward argument and supporting it with ideas. The audience is also not well addressed, since the people who could really do something about the issue are the investors who finance these social networks and the informal language makes it look like the article is directed towards public in general.

My Rhetorical Analysis Article [Outline]

The article "Is Facebook Overrated?" talks about Facebook and it's overrated price. It's main argument suggests Facebook is going to be popular for some time but then, like other social networks, will drop because people will get bored of it. 

The topic is introduced by talking about what social networks are, and how online social networks (OSNs hereafter) attract so many people by taking the essence of social networking in the non-cybernetic world. 

After the introduction, the first paragraph starts by giving an estimate of the number of people that visited the two most famous OSNs--Facebook and MySpace-- in October 2007 and their profits.

On the second body paragraph, the author continues to talk about earnings of these OSNs and starts talking about their total market values. She talks about how Microsoft bought a 1.6% of Facebook, giving Facebook a rough value of $15 billion dollars. 

Third paragraph talks about Facebook's founder and how it all began. On the fourth paragraph the author supports her thesis by suggesting that Facebook may have the same faith of Friendster and die. She then compares OSNs with night clubs that are popular only for a short period of time and later on explains the CEOs of these OSNs are working to "morph these sites from the high school gym into one-stop entertainment destinations.".  The author then explains the methods these OSNs are using to attract advertisers and more users and make more and more money, like that of the free applications on Facebook profiles or the "intelligent" ads of Facebook and MySpace. 

After this, the author puts in doubt the effectiveness of these adverts that are the main source of income for the social networks. 

The conclusion ends up by questioning wether if Facebook is really worth 15 billion dollars or is going down like other social networks. 

Rhetorical Analysis

My issue topic talks about the globalization of social networks, so I picked an article on online privacy to make a rhetorical analysis of it. Even though I read most of the article, I’m only making an analysis on the first part of it (involving the overview, etc) due to its length.

The author of the article introduces it by talking about how millions of online users store their personal data on websites. He makes a good point by saying how websites people visit are tracked down by advertisers and more commonly by the government who uses this information for different purposes and investigations. The main concern or argument in the article is the effects of networking on the privacy. This is a good way to address his audience since it is clearly directed towards all of those Internet users who enter personal data on their daily activities to these servers.

The Kairos moment of this article is almost perfect: The rise in popularity of social networks like Facebook, Twitter and the use of internet over the last few years makes this an article that will concern a huge audience who is already aware of the dangers of the Internet.

Ethos is used fairly to establish some credibility. You can see paragraphs or examples and quotes of experts in privacy, government employees related to Internet security, professors of very respected universities, amongst other people who have authority in this topic. All of these authorities in the privacy area support the author’s idea or give examples of facts that have or can affect this audience somehow.

Pathos is also important to attract the audience in this article, especially because the author makes a smart move at the very beginning of it, in the first paragraph of the overview. He makes a question to start off his paragraph on a very engaging way: “What could happen to you?” This is no doubt the key sentence. After reading this, the audience feels curious about what’s next. The readers become concerned because they may be bound to suffer these consequences. By giving a couple of examples of negative consequences, he gets to the people’s feelings and attracts them to keep reading his article and support his argument.

Logos is established with facts. The author clearly does a lot of research and connects facts that sustain the weakness of privacy in this area and the flow between his sentences in every paragraph is good.

I hardly found fallacies in this article. Some of the consequences he mentions when appealing of pathos may be interpreted as Threat/Reward, but it isn’t really a consequence of not supporting the argument but a possibility that may happen for those who are part of the audience. It is very well written, the tone and language is semi-formal, the ideas are presented in a very concise way and the article is easy to understand. Some counter arguments may be ignored. I can think of the reason why the government controls these networks: national security. So the loss of privacy could mean more security, which is a little strange to say, but this could be a fair counter-argument to this article.  Other than that it’s a really well written article on privacy and it’s loss caused by the Internet and social networks.

Source of the article: http://library.cqpress.com.erl.lib.byu.edu/cqresearcher/document.php?id=cqresrre2009110600&type=hitlist&num=16

Examples of Writing Fallacies

Examples of False Authority

1 – Try our latest deodorant Sweat-Control! It will keep you dry for 3 days with only one use, and you can forget about the disgusting scents! And if you don’t trust me, trust Shakill O’Neill! He uses it for every game and has confirmed that it’s better than any other! Get it now for a low price by calling 0800-12345.

2 – Industries that manufacture parts for the make Dodge lack good materials to make these cars more resistant. I have driven many Dodges and even owned one of them once, and it was clear that other cars are more resistant and last more time than Dodges.

3 – Parents shouldn’t buy kids cereals for children. These cereals have too much sugar and chemicals on them, and this is not only my opinion. My brother worked packing Cap’n Cruch cereal bags in their boxes for years and he has seen how they make this cereal, and according to him, the amount of sugar and chemicals in them is not healthy at all.

Examples of Oversimplification

1 – Speed driving is too dangerous. You shouldn’t drive over speed limits if you don’t want to end up crashing and having accidents.

2 – Manhattan always has traffic because of the amount of taxis on it’s streets.

3 – Global warming happens because of American Industries and factories polluting the oceans and the air.

Evaluation of my Op Ed

[Note that the topic of my Op Ed changed in it's final draft]

An opinion editorial should be based on an argument that is doable. The thesis statement suggests to adapt the Living Standards for off-campus non-members studying at BYU to give them more freedom to do whatever they feel like, as long as they remain respectable and reliable and don’t damage BYU’s reputation. This is a pretty solid thesis that is actually possible. It is in a good kairos moment because this topic never really gets old, as non-members of the LDS church start their careers in BYU every year and this is a topic that concerns to all of them who want a little more freedom.

The main audience of this editorial is the Office of Off-Campus Housing in BYU, and all of the arguments are directed towards them with the goal of convincing them of the fact that the thesis is actually doable and it doesn’t affect BYU at all. The vocabulary and writing is formal, which adapts well to the audience. A secondary audience to this editorial is those students who are non-members and wish to exercise their usual activities without restrictions, but it is primarily reflected towards the Off-Campus Housing Office. There are no assumptions of common knowledge in this editorial and everything is well explained. The author clearly defines the issue in his thesis statement.

Counter arguments are predicted and prevented by the author. The biggest counter-argument the university might have against this editorial is the fact that if more freedom is allowed to non-members of the church outside of the university, these students might damage the university’s image and reputation by committing acts of dishonesty and immorality. This counter argument is taken care of by the author.

Rhetorical proofs are also used in this paper. Ethos is established when the author talks about his background and tells one of the ways these rules for off-campus living have affected him, so he is identifying with the secondary audience. Pathos is used at the beginning of the introduction, where the author tries to sympathize with the primary audience by recognizing the positive effects of the Honor Code and behavior of BYU. Logos is used in examples like the Testing Center example, where it seems logical to trust students with this responsibility after they have been trusted many other things like these of taking exams without supervision.

MLA formatting conventions are followed and the grammar is good, there are no wordy complicated sentences and because of all of this, this Opinion Editorial is worthy of a shiny A. 

Comment on my intro.

Well, I decided to post my introduction because I think it's the most difficult part of my Op Ed and maybe I can make it a bit better with some comments. Any suggestions and comments that will help it get better will be very welcome.

" Brigham Young University is a very prestigious college owned by the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints, with some of the best ranked schools in the United States such as the BYU Business School. Even though most students in this university are members of this church, it is not only limited for them. Many international students apply to BYU because of its low costs and prestige. However, the acceptance rate for these international applications is not the highest amongst the American universities. I am an international student myself, and I know of someone who was just about as skilled as I am, and didn’t make it through due to the limited amount of international students that were accepted. I’m not denying BYU knows about the whole range of benefits of cultural diversity and does as much as possible to accept international applicants. All I’m suggesting is to increase the rate of accepted applicants so that more international applicants worthy of this education enjoy the benefits of studying in such a great university, as many of them who I’m sure are very brilliant, like my friend, deserve this education. The acceptance of more internationals will help everyone: The university, the student body and the accepted internationals.  "

My topic.

The topic I chose is globalization of social networks. This looked like an interesting topic to me because ever since the release of sites like MySpace and facebook, social networks have become a very important part in the society's identity. There are millions of facebook and twitter accounts, active accounts that are regularly checked and updated by their owners, and these numbers just keep getting higher. The whole social networking process is affecting users' privacy. If this is not taken seriously by those who publish their lives and what they do on these networks, this "open" information may affect users negatively and the sense of privacy itself might suffer a huge change. Nobody acts the same way with everyone: If making a job application, the background and resume will not be the same as if talking to a friend from last night's party. Social networks don't differ between who is looking at your profile, so this type of privacy is lost with them. Some people have even lost their jobs because of some picture that wasn't supposed to be uploaded but somehow reached facebook or twitter.

Why is this important to me? I just talked about it: Privacy is something really important and if this is not controlled, these social networks have the power to and will affect people's privacy. And not only that, networking has even become addictive to some, absorbing a lot of time in their lives which is spent doing useless things. This could, in the worst cases, affect the way people relate with each other. It is not strange to notice that some would rather talk through these networks than talking in real life, face to face.

What can I do about this? Well, the most popular networks have already implemented privacy settings that will prevent many of the negative effects of these networks. But who controls these settings are the users. My goal is to find ways to encourage social networkers to pay more attention to privacy and prevent these users from becoming addicted to these networks.

This blog will be based on the globalization of social networks like Facebook,  Twitter and Myspace and their impact on society.